Oh, this dog has hair. And it grows. Constantly. We've worked out a deal. He holds still enough for some progress in cutting feet or face hair, and I give him a piece of dry dog food (sample pack from PetSmart). It only takes 2-3 pieces for him to catch on that, while it is unpleasant, it's not the end of the world.
End result? he can see out of his cute eyes again, and he looks more like a puppy than ever. As for me, I'm tired and ready for a novel or movie.